EXHIBITIONISM

SCARLETT’S LETTERS: Dancing in the Garden of Earthly Delights

on March 31, 2014 by

Dear James and James —

It’s been brought to my attention recently, or maybe I should say I have recently been reminded, why I don’t drink hard alcohol. You might have seen me — unluckily or luckily, depending on what you fancy — a couple fashion weeks ago at the Yoyo Club in Paris. I drank vodka as if was spring water from Lourdes, then got on the DJ stage and danced a kind of striptease in my pink ruffled silk Rick Owens dress. The security guard gracefully tried to remove me from my adoring audience,

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WILL THE REAL JAMES FRANCO PLEASE STAND UP

Content Creation: James Franco and the Co-Opting of Gay

on November 26, 2013 by

There was a considerable amount of irritated hissing going on among the Gheys on my Facebook feed yesterday afternoon once James Franco and Seth Rogen’s video spoof of super-narcissist Kanye West’s “Bound 2” had gone super viral and everyone had had enough of it after only a few hours. I thought the video was hilarious. It also partially redeemed Franco in my eyes and inched him a little further off my short Shit List of Celebs I Want to Punch in the Face. But only a little further.

Franco made the shit list by being annoyingly ubiquitous without spending enough time and thought on what he was being ubiquitous about. Like many Gheys,

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LEATHER SCENE

Heaven Is in the Accessories: Valas Los Angeles

on March 21, 2014 by

Gentle reader,

Have you heard about this Pinterest thing?  I’d thought it was quaintly used by fair young maidens planning their impending nuptials and “pinning” ideas to their “boards” of bridal gowns, flower arrangements and bridesmaids’ dresses that they’ll tell their closest friends they can wear again but know deep in their hearts that the dresses have to be ugly enough to make sure the bride stands out.  It turns out, though, that, if you follow the right boards, it’s pretty much like gay porn.  Without the sound, that is.  I politely “followed back”—a term I borrowed from Twitter, the other gay porn social media site in disguise—a board from a lovely lady named Jennifer Cox, whom I now suspect of not really being an anatomical lady due to her profile name, “wannabachick70.” Her bio also gives it away, just a bit:

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ARTSY FARTSY

How Marina Abramovic Legitimized Shia LaBeouf

on February 17, 2014 by

First Shia LaBeouf was called out on plagiarism for various pieces he created, most notably a short film. Then he walked out of a press conference for Lars von Trier’s Nymphomaniac Part 1 at the Berlinale after quoting football player Eric Cantona, “When the seagulls follow the trawler, it is because they think sardines will be thrown…

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WHY SO SERIOUS?

EXCLUSIVE: Lagerfeld Pitches Script to Tarantino

on January 26, 2014 by

I have done it! I have pulled it off! I am a hit!

How do I know? Vogue says so. WWD says so.

It’s true that Chanel, the maison de couture for which I design, is one of the few remaining big advertisers in fashion. Therefore, all the important publications are my bitches. Big deal! The fact remains that I have reinvented haute couture. How? With the sneaker.

Yes, the common sneaker used for cardio training, which as you know I don’t advocate because it makes you hungry, and being hungry makes you fat, like Adele. But if you are buying the Chanel couture sneaker you won’t be running around a bigger space than your closet. Okay, okay, maybe your bedroom, or an art gallery. If the normal Chanel prêt-a-porter sneaker starts at $600…

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KEEP DIGGING, WATSON

Benedict Cumberbatch: Can a Character Actor Be a Leading Man?

on January 24, 2014 by

Many people assume that remarkable, distinctive cultures — as opposed to bland ones like the American and Scandi-Germanic — aren’t aware of how they seem to outsiders. It dawned on me in the first years I lived in India that they not only loved how exotic they are, they wallowed in it, fostered it; their eccentricity is institutionalized in the culture.

The same self-awareness goes for the English. They know how quaint and quirky they can be, and nowhere do they proclaim that more than in their choice of names. The sound of ‘Benedict Cumberbatch’ reminds me of an expensive-but-worth-it five-alarm hangover brunch at a boutique hotel in London’s West End,

» view more from the category FILM & TELEVISION, KILLOUGH CHRONICLES, MAIN FEATURE, SUBLEAD 2
WRITING
FEAR IS THE MIND KILLER
BAD BEHAVIOR

Filmmaking: It Never Pays to Be an Asshole

on November 12, 2013 by

I had a blast yesterday on the set of what should have been an arduous student-film shoot I was mentoring. The location was outside Barstow, in the high desert midway between Las Vegas and Los Angeles. It was total Breaking Bad territory — you almost expected the occasional BOOM! of a meth lab exploding in one of the trailer parks that dotted the lunar landscape.

A lot of the fun was set early in the day by Tabi Farnsworth, the owner of the “picture car” that was being driven on camera by the protagonist of the short film. An eighty-one-year-old former hairdresser who has redefined ‘flamboyant’ by being the human equivalent of a fizzy ice cream soda, Tabi insisted on driving it to the location himself,

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SUCH CHARACTERS

TV Shows: Why We Love the Essential Bitch

on November 19, 2013 by

My latest random connection is wacky, but it appears from a viral test currently making the rounds of Facebook that I’m almost entirely right-brained. I’m now allowed to be random and wacky with impunity. According to Sommer-Sommer.com I am congenitally creative, chaotic, intuitive, imaginative, curious, and fantastical. I would add tangential to that list of adjectives.

Where was I? Oh, right…

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