Gentle reader,

Just a couple of days ago, Scott and I braved the scorching temperatures of the San Gabriel Valley and traveled to the lovely village of San Dimas with our friend, the actress and singer Lainie Kazan.  I don’t really know whose idea it was to celebrate her granddaughter’s thirteen birthday at California’s largest water amusement park on a Sunday in mid-July but I’m going to slap them when I find out.  Aside from the wild Raging Waters’ parking and crazy heat, there were the surging crowds that were…well, one can’t accurately say “the unwashed masses” because they spent the afternoon splashing around in millions of gallons of water, but you get the idea.

Ever the gracious hostess, Lainie had reserved for us a cabana, which she continually referred to as a cabaña (pronounced kuh-ban-yuh, with emphasis on the ñ) which annoyed her daughter Jenn to no end.  Sure, they’d laugh you out of Vegas’ Wet Republic or Drai’s in Hollywood but, in Ms. Kazan’s defense, if you were hanging out with Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin in Acapulco and Palm Springs back in the day, you’d probably call it a cabaña, too.  Unlike the glorious cabañas of yore, however, ours at Raging Waters was basically a mosquito tent with a couple of white plastic chaises and matching deck chairs, but we made it our little home base by strategically placing colorful beach towels, then frolicked amongst the waves and bad tattoos for as long as we were able.  With Scott in his walking cast boot on his pushcart and Lainie in her matching boot with her cane, I felt like I was at the Special Olympics half the time, but it was a day with dear friends that I won’t soon forget.

Slides at Raging Waters Theme Park

The habitués of Raging Waters and other pee-infested water parks around the world probably never noticed that Mercedes Benz Miami Swim Week just wrapped up but, never mind, I’m here to sort it all out for you in plenty of time to earmark your favorite aquatic ensemble for next summer.

Colors:  It looks like we’re going to be seeing tons of fuchsia and turquoise on the beaches next year and, though there was a lot of metallic gold and silver on the Miami runways, you might be better reserving those glittery Vitamin A and Nicolita bikinis for rooftop pool parties.  Black and white is an ongoing classic theme that is now mixed in optical prints like those at Red Carter.

 

Red Carter

Prints: The patterns shown in Miami were surprisingly consistent.  Graphic tribal designs made many an appearance, most notably on flowing sheer caftans.  Small florals and zigzags showed up on many a bikini and I detected an underlying Art Deco inspiration, most notably at Aqua Di Lara, while Mara Hoffman went the Ancient Egyptian route.

Shapes: From teensy Brazilian bikini bottoms to the more editorial high-waisted models and underwire vintage pin-up tops at White Sands and Nicolita, there was a wide range of silhouettes to flatter most shapes.  Fringe and ruffles were everywhere, bikinis were mix and match and those flowing sheer caftans came along to top everything off.  I’d advise steering clear of Agua Bendita’s Wild West-Army collection, though.  Holy shit, that was a mess.

As always, there’s a lot to choose from, but only worry about the trends after you’ve figured out what looks good on you.  If that means trying on forty-seven swim suits, as painful as that sounds, just do it.  You’ll thank me later.

Watch the slideshow of my picks below!

Much love,

xxJames

Red Carter

Red Carter

All that glitters.

Luli Fama

Luli Fama

Beware weird tan lines.

Luli Fama

Luli Fama

 Why is she pointing at us?

 

Luli Fama

Luli Fama

 I’ll zig and you zag.

 

Luli Fama

Luli Fama

Toddler swimwear all growed up.

Mara Hoffman

Mara Hoffman

Nefertiti would approve.

Mara Hoffman

Mara Hoffman

Egypt-lite.

Lisa Blue

Lisa Blue

Proud Pin-Up.

Lisa Blue

Lisa Blue

Stars and Stripes.

Lisa Blue

Lisa Blue

Romantic Ruffles.

Lisa Blue

Lisa Blue

The Forties called.  They want their bikini back.

Nicolita

Nicolita

Roaring Vintage.

White Sands Australia

White Sands Australia

Ruched Goddess.

Poko Pano

Poko Pano

Caftan Dreams.

Agua Bendita

Agua Bendita

Hold on there, Pardner!